


The Investigation

by Godoka



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Gen, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Pure Crack, jacob seed is a furry au, sharky and the dep are bros, sharky/deputy if you squint and want to believe enough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 09:30:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16870456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godoka/pseuds/Godoka
Summary: The Deputy discovers the marvels of the internet and an investigation ensues.





	The Investigation

**Author's Note:**

> There aren’t any ships in this. Perhaps if you squint and force yourself to see it, it could be a Jacob/Deputy fic in the next chapter based on like 3 lines or so of interaction. Or it could be a Sharky/Deputy fic now that I think about it…I put that it’s crack but I took this 100% seriously. However, when it came to editing I realised that it was so fucking ridiculous that I better put a warning on it. A summary of this fic in 4 words: Jacob is a furry. To clarify, I don’t see him as such. My 12 year old brother gave me the idea and I wanted to entertain it. More of this train wreck is coming. Hey, at least this isn't the most ridiculous thing i've written.

They watched the screen in front of them in silence. A person clad in a grey wolf fursuit was doing weird gestures while standing on top of a mountain. The Whitetail Mountains. It was viral.

“Why would you put this on the internet? Good god” Sharky snorted.

“Look how cute they are though!” the Deputy wheezed, jabbing the screen as the wolf waved at the camera.

“Still. Who’s dumb enough to be prancing around the Whitetails in a fursuit?”

“Dude, who has the time and money to be prancing around the Whitetails in a fursuit when there’s a war going on? Oh god, imagine they get mauled by a judge looking like that and when the body gets recovered they just see…that.”

Sharky looked like he was close to tears “now that sounds like entertainment.”

They watched the grey smiling wolf for a short while longer before the Deputy took a deep breath and turned off the tab, brushing a few tears out of her eyes. When she expressed her interest in getting up to speed on what she missed on the web after she managed to get the internet signal back up, this is not what she was expecting to see. Sure, someone in a fursuit is pretty harmless. But someone in the Whitetails in a fursuit? That right there was slightly worrying. It was a lot less depressing than all the nuclear war talk that seemed to be spreading though.

The Deputy gave a content sigh “now I can get back to work. I don’t think i”ll ever get that image out of my head though.”

“I”ll have that image ingrained in my head and it will come back to me in super inappropriate situations. Imagine you get snatched by Jacob and just start losing it.” Sharky suddenly stopped as though he had an epiphany but Rook didn’t notice.

“Well crap, now you’ve scared me. Do you think he knows some fool is prancing around his mountains dressed as a wolf?”

“Popo, what if that is Jacob?”

The Deputy looked back at Sharky and deadpanned “as funny as that would be it is definitely not Jacob. You weren’t kidnapped by him. You haven’t seen what he’s like. Ignoring the fact that he’s obviously a sick fuck he a) would not have time to do something like that and b) would have more dignity than to do tricks for the internet to gape at.”

“Dep, think about it… who do we know that’s obsessed with wolves? And who else could get away with dicking around in the mountains without being shot on sight?”

“Maybe this is an old video? Y’know, before the cult?”

“Doubt it. Come on, it is so Jacob. He is most definitely a furry.”

The Deputy frowned and shook her head “as amusing as that would be, Sharky, that’s just too good to be true.”

“Well why don’t we find out?”

“How?” the Deputy sat up.

“Why don’t you sneak into his crib and snoop around?”

“You know I can't go an inch of that place without going on a murder spree and even if I somehow managed to get in, I would not find a fursuit. I ain’t doing it.”

Sharky pouted “come on, Dep. You can’t tell me you aren’t curious about who this dude is now.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“And satisfaction brought it back. Pleeeeease, Deputy” Sharky whined.

The Deputy gave a dramatic sigh and bowed her head “fine. You can’t come with though. Safety precaution. I can’t believe you coerced me into doing this. This better be fucking worth it.”

“But hey, if you don’t find his fursuit maybe you’ll find something else juicy? Maybe take a look at his internet history?”

“Doubt the ol’ man even knows how to start up a computer let alone how to access Pornhub but sure, Shark.” He beamed at her. If his theory was correct, Jacob Seed was ruined.


End file.
